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"It’s always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that is beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly."
This quote occurs in Chapter 41 when Celia convinces Evelyn to take the role in Max’s Three A.M., the role that eventually leads them to break up again. Their relationship contains many opposing desires and is often characterized by each woman being both loving and self-serving. In their first interaction, Celia both genuinely wants to spend time with Evelyn and wants to use her for a photo-op and publicity bump. Throughout their relationship, Evelyn uses sex to protect both Celia and herself. Though Celia leaves Evelyn twice because of this, she later admits that she needed Evelyn’s protection. Despite the fact that Celia is the love of Evelyn’s life, she can’t fully choose Celia over acting and continually drives her away. And while Celia wants Evelyn to be free to express herself, she cannot abide the way she does so in Three A.M. Though both women love each other, the pressures of being closeted and navigating false personas drive them apart. These dichotomies make up the complex nature of two women who love each other in impossible circumstances.
