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Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH
Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH

BARDOLPH

Well met, Corporal Nym.

BARDOLPH

Well met, Corporal Nym.

NYM

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

NYM

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

BARDOLPH

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

NYM

For my part, I care not. I say little, but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man’s sword will, and there’s an end.

NYM

For my part, I care not. I say little, but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man’s sword will, and there’s an end.

BARDOLPH

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we’ll be all three sworn brothers to France. Let ’t be so, good Corporal Nym.

BARDOLPH

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we’ll be all three sworn brothers to France. Let ’t be so, good Corporal Nym.

NYM

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that’s the certain of it. And when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my rest; that is the rendezvous of it.

NYM

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that’s the certain of it. And when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my rest; that is the rendezvous of it.

BARDOLPH

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.

BARDOLPH

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.

NYM

I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time, and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell.

NYM

I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time, and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell.
Enter PISTOL and HOSTESS
Enter PISTOL and HOSTESS

BARDOLPH

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good corporal, be patient here.—How now, mine host Pistol?

BARDOLPH

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good corporal, be patient here.—How now, mine host Pistol?

PISTOL

25 Base tyke, call’st thou me host?
Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term,
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

PISTOL

Base tyke, call’st thou me host?
Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term,
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

HOSTESS

No, by my troth, not long, for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.

HOSTESS

No, by my troth, not long, for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.
NYM and PISTOL draw
NYM and PISTOL draw
Oh, well-a-day, Lady! If he be not hewn now, we shall see willful adultery and murder committed.
Oh, well-a-day, Lady! If he be not hewn now, we shall see willful adultery and murder committed.

BARDOLPH

Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here.

BARDOLPH

Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here.

NYM

35 Pish!

NYM

Pish!

PISTOL

Pish for thee, Iceland dog,
Thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!

PISTOL

Pish for thee, Iceland dog,
Thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!

HOSTESS

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valor and put up your sword.

HOSTESS

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valor and put up your sword.

NYM

40 Will you shog off? (to PISTOL) I would have you solus.

NYM

Will you shog off? (to PISTOL) I would have you solus.

PISTOL

“Solus,” egregious dog? O viper vile,
The solus in thy most marvelous face,
The solus in thy teeth and in thy throat
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
45 And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the solus in thy bowels,
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.

PISTOL

“Solus,” egregious dog? O viper vile,
The solus in thy most marvelous face,
The solus in thy teeth and in thy throat
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the solus in thy bowels,
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.

NYM

I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humor to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little in good terms, as I may, and that’s the humor of it.

NYM

I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humor to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little in good terms, as I may, and that’s the humor of it.

PISTOL

O braggart vile and damnèd furious wight,
55 The grave doth gape, and doting death is near.
Therefore exhale.

PISTOL

O braggart vile and damnèd furious wight,
The grave doth gape, and doting death is near.
Therefore exhale.

BARDOLPH

Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke,
I’ll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier. (draws)

BARDOLPH

Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke,
I’ll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier. (draws)

PISTOL

An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate.
60 Give me thy fist, thy forefoot to me give.
Thy spirits are most tall.

PISTOL

An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate.
Give me thy fist, thy forefoot to me give.
Thy spirits are most tall.

NYM

I will cut thy throat one time or other in fair terms, that is the humor of it.

NYM

I will cut thy throat one time or other in fair terms, that is the humor of it.

PISTOL

Couple à gorge, that is the word. I defy thee again.
65 O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No, to the spital go,
And from the powd'ring tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.

PISTOL

Couple à gorge, that is the word. I defy thee again.
O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No, to the spital go,
And from the powd'ring tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.
70 I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she, And—pauca—there’s enough. Go to.
I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she, And—pauca—there’s enough. Go to.
Enter the BOY
Enter the BOY

BOY

Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master and your hostess. He is very sick and would to bed.—Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill.

BOY

Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master and your hostess. He is very sick and would to bed.—Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill.

BARDOLPH

Away, you rogue!

BARDOLPH

Away, you rogue!

HOSTESS

By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently.

HOSTESS

By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently.
Exeunt HOSTESS and BOY
Exeunt HOSTESS and BOY

BARDOLPH

Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together. Why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another’s throats?

BARDOLPH

Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together. Why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another’s throats?

PISTOL

Let floods o'erswell and fiends for food howl on!

PISTOL

Let floods o'erswell and fiends for food howl on!

NYM

You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

NYM

You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

PISTOL

85 Base is the slave that pays.

PISTOL

Base is the slave that pays.

NYM

That now I will have—that’s the humor of it.

NYM

That now I will have—that’s the humor of it.

PISTOL

As manhood shall compound. Push home.

PISTOL

As manhood shall compound. Push home.
They draw
They draw

BARDOLPH

By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him. By this sword, I will.

BARDOLPH

By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him. By this sword, I will.

PISTOL

90 “Sword” is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

PISTOL

“Sword” is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

BARDOLPH

Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends; an thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up.

BARDOLPH

Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends; an thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up.

PISTOL

A noble shalt thou have, and present pay,
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
95 And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood.
I’ll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall subtler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.

PISTOL

A noble shalt thou have, and present pay,
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood.
I’ll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall subtler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.

NYM

100 I shall have my noble?

NYM

I shall have my noble?

PISTOL

In cash, most justly paid.

PISTOL

In cash, most justly paid.

NYM

Well, then, that’s the humor of ’t.

NYM

Well, then, that’s the humor of ’t.
Enter HOSTESS
Enter HOSTESS

HOSTESS

As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart, he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.

HOSTESS

As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart, he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.

NYM

The king hath run bad humors on the knight, that’s the even of it.

NYM

The king hath run bad humors on the knight, that’s the even of it.

PISTOL

Nym, thou hast spoke the right.
110 His heart is fracted and corroborate.

PISTOL

Nym, thou hast spoke the right.
His heart is fracted and corroborate.

NYM

The king is a good king, but it must be as it may. He passes some humors and careers.

NYM

The king is a good king, but it must be as it may. He passes some humors and careers.

PISTOL

Let us condole the knight, for, lambkins, we will live.

PISTOL

Let us condole the knight, for, lambkins, we will live.
Exeunt
Exeunt

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH
Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH

BARDOLPH

Well met, Corporal Nym.

BARDOLPH

Well met, Corporal Nym.

NYM

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

NYM

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

BARDOLPH

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

NYM

For my part, I care not. I say little, but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man’s sword will, and there’s an end.

NYM

For my part, I care not. I say little, but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man’s sword will, and there’s an end.

BARDOLPH

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we’ll be all three sworn brothers to France. Let ’t be so, good Corporal Nym.

BARDOLPH

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we’ll be all three sworn brothers to France. Let ’t be so, good Corporal Nym.

NYM

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that’s the certain of it. And when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my rest; that is the rendezvous of it.

NYM

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that’s the certain of it. And when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my rest; that is the rendezvous of it.

BARDOLPH

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.

BARDOLPH

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.

NYM

I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time, and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell.

NYM

I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time, and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell.
Enter PISTOL and HOSTESS
Enter PISTOL and HOSTESS

BARDOLPH

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good corporal, be patient here.—How now, mine host Pistol?

BARDOLPH

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good corporal, be patient here.—How now, mine host Pistol?

PISTOL

25 Base tyke, call’st thou me host?
Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term,
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

PISTOL

Base tyke, call’st thou me host?
Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term,
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

HOSTESS

No, by my troth, not long, for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.

HOSTESS

No, by my troth, not long, for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.
NYM and PISTOL draw
NYM and PISTOL draw
Oh, well-a-day, Lady! If he be not hewn now, we shall see willful adultery and murder committed.
Oh, well-a-day, Lady! If he be not hewn now, we shall see willful adultery and murder committed.

BARDOLPH

Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here.

BARDOLPH

Good lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing here.

NYM

35 Pish!

NYM

Pish!

PISTOL

Pish for thee, Iceland dog,
Thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!

PISTOL

Pish for thee, Iceland dog,
Thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!

HOSTESS

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valor and put up your sword.

HOSTESS

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valor and put up your sword.

NYM

40 Will you shog off? (to PISTOL) I would have you solus.

NYM

Will you shog off? (to PISTOL) I would have you solus.

PISTOL

“Solus,” egregious dog? O viper vile,
The solus in thy most marvelous face,
The solus in thy teeth and in thy throat
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
45 And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the solus in thy bowels,
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.

PISTOL

“Solus,” egregious dog? O viper vile,
The solus in thy most marvelous face,
The solus in thy teeth and in thy throat
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!
I do retort the solus in thy bowels,
For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.

NYM

I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humor to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little in good terms, as I may, and that’s the humor of it.

NYM

I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humor to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little in good terms, as I may, and that’s the humor of it.

PISTOL

O braggart vile and damnèd furious wight,
55 The grave doth gape, and doting death is near.
Therefore exhale.

PISTOL

O braggart vile and damnèd furious wight,
The grave doth gape, and doting death is near.
Therefore exhale.

BARDOLPH

Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke,
I’ll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier. (draws)

BARDOLPH

Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke,
I’ll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier. (draws)

PISTOL

An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate.
60 Give me thy fist, thy forefoot to me give.
Thy spirits are most tall.

PISTOL

An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate.
Give me thy fist, thy forefoot to me give.
Thy spirits are most tall.

NYM

I will cut thy throat one time or other in fair terms, that is the humor of it.

NYM

I will cut thy throat one time or other in fair terms, that is the humor of it.

PISTOL

Couple à gorge, that is the word. I defy thee again.
65 O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No, to the spital go,
And from the powd'ring tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.

PISTOL

Couple à gorge, that is the word. I defy thee again.
O hound of Crete, think’st thou my spouse to get?
No, to the spital go,
And from the powd'ring tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid’s kind,
Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse.
70 I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she, And—pauca—there’s enough. Go to.
I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she, And—pauca—there’s enough. Go to.
Enter the BOY
Enter the BOY

BOY

Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master and your hostess. He is very sick and would to bed.—Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill.

BOY

Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master and your hostess. He is very sick and would to bed.—Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he’s very ill.

BARDOLPH

Away, you rogue!

BARDOLPH

Away, you rogue!

HOSTESS

By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently.

HOSTESS

By my troth, he’ll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently.
Exeunt HOSTESS and BOY
Exeunt HOSTESS and BOY

BARDOLPH

Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together. Why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another’s throats?

BARDOLPH

Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together. Why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another’s throats?

PISTOL

Let floods o'erswell and fiends for food howl on!

PISTOL

Let floods o'erswell and fiends for food howl on!

NYM

You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

NYM

You’ll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

PISTOL

85 Base is the slave that pays.

PISTOL

Base is the slave that pays.

NYM

That now I will have—that’s the humor of it.

NYM

That now I will have—that’s the humor of it.

PISTOL

As manhood shall compound. Push home.

PISTOL

As manhood shall compound. Push home.
They draw
They draw

BARDOLPH

By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him. By this sword, I will.

BARDOLPH

By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I’ll kill him. By this sword, I will.

PISTOL

90 “Sword” is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

PISTOL

“Sword” is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

BARDOLPH

Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends; an thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up.

BARDOLPH

Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends; an thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up.

PISTOL

A noble shalt thou have, and present pay,
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
95 And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood.
I’ll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall subtler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.

PISTOL

A noble shalt thou have, and present pay,
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood.
I’ll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me.
Is not this just? For I shall subtler be
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.

NYM

100 I shall have my noble?

NYM

I shall have my noble?

PISTOL

In cash, most justly paid.

PISTOL

In cash, most justly paid.

NYM

Well, then, that’s the humor of ’t.

NYM

Well, then, that’s the humor of ’t.
Enter HOSTESS
Enter HOSTESS

HOSTESS

As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart, he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.

HOSTESS

As ever you come of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart, he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.

NYM

The king hath run bad humors on the knight, that’s the even of it.

NYM

The king hath run bad humors on the knight, that’s the even of it.

PISTOL

Nym, thou hast spoke the right.
110 His heart is fracted and corroborate.

PISTOL

Nym, thou hast spoke the right.
His heart is fracted and corroborate.

NYM

The king is a good king, but it must be as it may. He passes some humors and careers.

NYM

The king is a good king, but it must be as it may. He passes some humors and careers.

PISTOL

Let us condole the knight, for, lambkins, we will live.

PISTOL

Let us condole the knight, for, lambkins, we will live.
Exeunt
Exeunt