No Fear Shakespeare: The Comedy of Errors: Act 3 Scene 2

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The Comedy of Errors

William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

rubies, carbuncles, sapphires

rubies, carbuncles, sapphires

Original Text

Modern Text

rubies, carbuncles, sapphires

rubies, carbuncles, sapphires

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE	Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
LUCIANA And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot? Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous? 5 If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more kindness. Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth— Muffle your false love with some show of blindness. Let not my sister read it in your eye; 10 Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator; Look sweet, be fair, become disloyalty; Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger. Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted. Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint. 15 Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted? What simple thief brags of his own attaint? 'Tis double wrong to truant with your bed And let her read it in thy looks at board. Shame hath a bastard fame, well managèd; 20 Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word. Alas, poor women, make us but believe, Being compact of credit, that you love us. Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. 25 Then, gentle brother, get you in again. Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife. 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.	LUCIANA And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot? Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more kindness. Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth— Muffle your false love with some show of blindness. Let not my sister read it in your eye; Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator; Look sweet, be fair, become disloyalty; Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger. Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted. Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint. Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted? What simple thief brags of his own attaint? 'Tis double wrong to truant with your bed And let her read it in thy looks at board. Shame hath a bastard fame, well managèd; Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word. Alas, poor women, make us but believe, Being compact of credit, that you love us. Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. Then, gentle brother, get you in again. Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife. 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not, 30 Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine,—	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not, Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine,—
Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak. Lay open to my earthy gross conceit, 35 Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? 40 Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe. Far more, far more, to you do I decline. 45 O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears. Sing, Siren, for thyself, and I will dote. Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, And as a bed I’ll take them and there lie, 50 And in that glorious supposition think He gains by death that hath such means to die. Let Love, being light, be drownèd if she sink.	Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not Than our earth’s wonder, more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak. Lay open to my earthy gross conceit, Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul’s pure truth why labour you To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe. Far more, far more, to you do I decline. O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears. Sing, Siren, for thyself, and I will dote. Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, And as a bed I’ll take them and there lie, And in that glorious supposition think He gains by death that hath such means to die. Let Love, being light, be drownèd if she sink.
LUCIANA What, are you mad that you do reason so?	LUCIANA What, are you mad that you do reason so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.
LUCIANA 55 It is a fault that springeth from your eye.	LUCIANA It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
LUCIANA Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.	LUCIANA Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
LUCIANA Why call you me “love”? Call my sister so.	LUCIANA Why call you me “love”? Call my sister so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 60 Thy sister’s sister.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thy sister’s sister.
LUCIANA That’s my sister.	LUCIANA That’s my sister.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE No, It is thyself, mine own self’s better part, Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart, My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim, My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE No, It is thyself, mine own self’s better part, Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart, My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim, My sole earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
LUCIANA 65 All this my sister is, or else should be.	LUCIANA All this my sister is, or else should be.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Call thyself “sister,” sweet, for I am thee. Thee will I love and with thee lead my life; Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife. Give me thy hand.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Call thyself “sister,” sweet, for I am thee. Thee will I love and with thee lead my life; Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife. Give me thy hand.
LUCIANA O soft, sir! Hold you still. 70 I’ll fetch my sister to get her goodwill.	LUCIANA O soft, sir! Hold you still. I’ll fetch my sister to get her goodwill.
Exit LUCIANA	Exit LUCIANA
Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, how now, Dromio. Where runn’st thou so fast?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, how now, Dromio. Where runn’st thou so fast?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 75 I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am an ass, I am a woman’s man, and besides myself.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What woman’s man? And how besides thyself?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What woman’s man? And how besides thyself?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, besides myself I am due to a woman, one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, besides myself I am due to a woman, one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What claim lays she to thee?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What claim lays she to thee?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast she would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast she would have me, but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What is she?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What is she?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A very reverent body, ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say “sir-reverence.” I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A very reverent body, ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say “sir-reverence.” I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE How dost thou mean a “fat marriage”?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE How dost thou mean a “fat marriage”?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease, and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen wench, and all grease, and I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the
tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.	tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the whole world.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What complexion is she of?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What complexion is she of?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For why? She sweats. A man may go overshoes in the grime of it.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Swart like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept. For why? She sweats. A man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE That’s a fault that water will mend.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE That’s a fault that water will mend.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood could not do it.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood could not do it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 100 What’s her name?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What’s her name?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nell, sir, but her name and three quarters—that’s an ell and three quarters—will not measure her from hip to hip.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nell, sir, but her name and three quarters—that’s an ell and three quarters—will not measure her from hip to hip.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Then she bears some breadth?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Then she bears some breadth?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE In what part of her body stands Ireland?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE In what part of her body stands Ireland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I found it out by the bogs.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I found it out by the bogs.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Scotland?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Scotland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 110 Where France?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where France?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE In her forehead, armed and reverted, making war against her heir.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE In her forehead, armed and reverted, making war against her heir.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where England?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where England?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Spain?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where Spain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where America, the Indies?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where America, the Indies?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er-embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires In Shakespeare’s time, America and the West Indies were known for having exotic jewels. rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadas of caracks to be ballast at her nose.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er-embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires In Shakespeare’s time, America and the West Indies were known for having exotic jewels. rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadas of caracks to be ballast at her nose.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me, call’d me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, She had transformed me to a curtal dog and made me turn i' th' wheel.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me, call’d me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, She had transformed me to a curtal dog and made me turn i' th' wheel.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road. An if the wind blow any way from shore, 135 I will not harbor in this town tonight. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk till thou return to me. If every one knows us, and we know none, 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road. An if the wind blow any way from shore, I will not harbor in this town tonight. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk till thou return to me. If every one knows us, and we know none, 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 140 As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife.	DROMIO OF SYRACUSE As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife.
Exit DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Exit DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE There’s none but witches do inhabit here, And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence. She that doth call me husband, even my soul 145 Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister, Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE There’s none but witches do inhabit here, And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence. She that doth call me husband, even my soul Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister, Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Of such enchanting presence and discourse, Hath almost made me traitor to myself. But lest myself be guilty to self wrong, 150 I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.	Of such enchanting presence and discourse, Hath almost made me traitor to myself. But lest myself be guilty to self wrong, I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.
Enter ANGELO with the chain	Enter ANGELO with the chain
ANGELO Master Antipholus.	ANGELO Master Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Ay, that’s my name.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Ay, that’s my name.
ANGELO I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain. I thought to have ta'en you at the Porpentine; The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.	ANGELO I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain. I thought to have ta'en you at the Porpentine; The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 155 What is your will that I shall do with this?	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What is your will that I shall do with this?
ANGELO What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.	ANGELO What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.
ANGELO Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have. Go home with it and please your wife withal, 160 And soon at supper time I’ll visit you And then receive my money for the chain.	ANGELO Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have. Go home with it and please your wife withal, And soon at supper time I’ll visit you And then receive my money for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more.
ANGELO You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well.	ANGELO You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well.
Exit ANGELO	Exit ANGELO
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 165 What I should think of this I cannot tell, But this I think: there’s no man is so vain That would refuse so fair an offered chain.	ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE What I should think of this I cannot tell, But this I think: there’s no man is so vain That would refuse so fair an offered chain.
I see a man here needs not live by shifts When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. 170 I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay. If any ship put out, then straight away.	I see a man here needs not live by shifts When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay. If any ship put out, then straight away.
Exit	Exit